Xander: Calax Research and Development. It's a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. What, I can't have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, it-it's just somewhat unprecedented.

Buffy: Tell me the truth: how's my hair?
Xander: It's great! It's your best hair ever!

Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomize traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world's economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.

Xander: Hey! I got to hit someone!

Giles: I'm, I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the middle ages.
Ms. Calendar: Did you ever leave?

Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.

Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis?
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!